man in obsidian-black shoes
gravelly thaw cobbled square
rubber bumping cyclist
carton with broiler broccoli
steamer through icy water
unified urine once flowed
between these narrow houses
and killed off potential crocus
café with tarred sandpaper roof
bordered with melting icicles
window glass like blood orange flesh
air like lukewarm cider foam
vibrating tables clucking guests
the bartender’s tired guttural guffaw
a man in frieze drinking
coffee that tastes like urea
white spitz sleeping on a canapé.
© 2010 Jenny Enochsson
10 comments:
"window glass like blood orange flesh
air like lukewarm cider foam"
This is really visionary.
I love how you use the English language and your blending of the exceptional images with the power of your imagination.
Thank you.
Ande,
Glad you regard it as visionary, as I want that to be a vital ingredient in my poetry. Thanks so much! Your perception is extraordinarily wide
The images in the second stanza are simply stunning. You have a wonderful way of balancing action that seems very real and gritty with visuals that are painted with surreal brush strokes.
A stunning collage of sound and image.
"air like lukewarm cider foam"
one of many amazing lines
Vibrant visuals here, Jenny... the houses so close together I can SMELL the crocus-choking effluent...
Very Nice, my friend. Very intense, different.
I am always amazed at how you weave your words together.
Bravo on this one, Jenny.
Margie :)
Hey there, I agree with Francis (regarding the second stanza). I particularly like the first line. A call to arms; it sets up the rest of the poem perfectly :)
wow!
the adjectives you have used for the nouns... the original imgages you have created... each can be a punch in the face of our sleepy and 'drunk' reading...
'unified urine' was the hardest of all those blows...
:)
and that adverb at the end... fabulous!
you detoxify our presence in the moment... at the end of the poem we come out sober and fresh...
thanks for the punches!
;)
*images
Francis, Megan, Cygnus, Margie, Scrybe and human being, thank you very very much! I am so grateful for your kind words.
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